Tuesday, April 27, 2010

My Uncle, Gene Heck

I've been writing this post in my mind for several days, but I'm having the most difficult time actually putting pen to paper, so to speak. As some of you already know, last Wednesday morning my beloved uncle, the one I am here visiting, passed away.

I've felt this overwhelming need to share with all of you, who I care so much for, how great and cherished my uncle was, but any truly just account seems impossible. The best I can hope for is to try to describe Gene, the uncle that I loved.

Gene was one of the most generous people I've ever met, whether it was his time or his money, he was willing to share it. I remember growing up that my Dad would have to pay the dinner check secretly or before Gene realized it, in order to avoid a check standoff, where Gene just wouldn't give up. Even though Gene was visiting us in Dallas from a million miles away, and there would be six of us and only one of him, he always wanted to treat. And being over here I've found that this experience is shared by many. Gene was just that kind of stand up guy. But also, Gene gave his time and his abilities. I remember when I was doing a debate through my high school as a Freshman. Gene asked me what the topic was about, and I told him. He came back the next day with some copies he made at the SMU library and an underlined section in the Federalist Papers, and then he came to my debate to cheer me on. He was so supportive; I'll always remember that.

The anecdote only begins to speak to my uncle the intellect. He could read like I look at pictures. He's written over 20 books on topics ranging from Middle Eastern history to modern political economics, some of which are still available on amazon. He has a PhD and four or five master's degrees. He loved learning, and he loved being an explorer of the world of ideas. In many ways, Gene was the embodiment of a head in the clouds academic. I recall a story of Einstein's past, where he called his secretary and asked the all important question, "what's my address?" The story has a reminiscence of Gene to it. And if there is only one thing, I could learn from Gene, it'd be to marry the right woman. My Aunt Adrienne was his guide, his focus, his true north. Adrienne is a Vollmer (like my mother), and as best I can tell, while they where many hats, on the inside they are all engineers at heart. Where he saw big ideas, she saw plans and processes. I don't think he could have accomplished half of what he did without her. It's a rare and beautiful love and marriage that lasts 40 years in today's society, and any man that found that is truly fortunate.

It wasn't until I got here that I was introduced to Gene the businessman. Gene's been in Saudi almost 40 years, and there just aren't any other Americans that can say that. He was beloved and remembered (in their own words) by Arabs,"We have lost a man of high moral values, a great scholar and a leader who selflessly served the American Business Community in KSA ...Gene and I were talking to each other to get together for a lunch before the end of this month! I could not believe this and could not sleep a couple of nights, just thinking of him, his talent, vision, economic expertise and knowledge of not only KSA but the Muslim and Arab world." and Americans, "if you stepped off a plane in Saudi Arabia for the first time and went to the US Embassy and asked them what to do to get started doing business in Saudi Arabia, they would, without hesitation, direct you to Gene." The word iconic is used a lot and seems to fit.

But what I will always remember is Gene the uncle and friend, whose visits I always cherished and set aside time for. We would spend hours drinking, debating, and solving the world's problems. If being politically like-minded made a friendship, ours would have been a hard one, but it only reminds me of an anecdote he liked to tell about what Ronald Reagan said to Democratic speaker of the house and good friend Tip O'Neal at a toast, "If I was granted two tickets to heaven, I'd gladly take you with me. But if I had only one ticket, I'd gladly give it up and go to hell with you." My uncle was a master of anecdotes and jokes. They were clever and insightful, and many, especially the Saudi ones, I am only now truly understanding. He was a drinking buddy's, drinking buddy, and some of his wisdom I heed even today, "If you drink alone, you're an alcoholic, but if you drink in front of your computer, you're a writer." He enjoyed life deeply, and each moment I got to spend with him made me enjoy life that much more.

While this loss is devastating, in the few days I've had to reflect on his passing, I've realized how blessed I am to be on this trip. I got to spend three weeks with Gene, and the two of us have never been closer. I was able to better appreciate his life here, and meet a few of the many people who his life has touched. I would never trade that to ease the pain I feel now.

I hope you find rest and peace, Gene.
Forever and ever, Amen.

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